Good afternoon!
So, my friend and I were just talking about how there are no interesting, open minded and unique people on here and then today I stumble across your profile – you seem like a pretty cool individual… much more than most on here. You seem like a free spirit and that is very much what I am looking for right now. I also love how intelligent and self-sufficient you seem to be – you really seem to be very responsible and the fact that you love your kids as much as you do speaks volumes to what kind of girl you are. I don’t think I have ever seen someone express how fun yet responsible they can be as well as you did in your profile, super mom! 🙂
On a side note, that upclose face pic in your profile is amazing – you legit look like an angel when you smile. I’m being 100% honest when I say this, but regardless of whether you reply to my message or not, please just know that your profile pictures paired with reading about what a warm and kind person you are truly did make my bad day a lot better.
…However…
The trophy for best pic goes to the farther out pic of you with that amazing smile! Wow!
Lastly, I feel you should know I am a Dominant personality type and you seem like you may share the same kinks as myself… which.. I find very intriguing and feel would make for even more interesting scenarios – not going to lie, your survey answers kind of surprised me! It’s not often you find someone into that type of thing in this area, but I know they’re out there somewhere!
And no, don’t worry – I’m not just out for sex or whatever, I just wanted to tell you about my lifestyle ahead of time so that didn’t come as a shock later on if we do end up talking.
Most people around here are so single-layered, so please do me the honor of getting to know you – you seem like such an interesting and fun person to know!
I really, truly hope to hear back from you. It’s so rare I find someone actually work talking to on this site. Feel free to kik me if you have kik *&^*&%$#^&016
You really are so real and so pleasant. Let’s talk.
Did this just overwhelm you? Because it sure did me. I received this message on OKC about a month ago and normally when I get a message of that length, I chalk it up to a man just copying and pasting the same message to a number of women, hoping someone will respond and I simply delete it. But this guy’s profile intrigued me, so I messaged him back and pretty much asked him if it was a “form letter”. He responded pretty quickly with an equally lengthy message explaining that no, it was not a “form letter” and pointing out more about my profile and answers to some of the questions that he liked. I still didn’t believe him but I was still intrigued by some of his responses so I continued to message him. We messaged for a few days and I enjoyed our conversations. And then one day, I logged in and his profile was deleted. WTF?!
I can’t say I was surprised, that seems to happen with these mysterious men who probably aren’t even real. I’ve heard about men getting the same type of messages from accounts that turn out to be fake, I don’t get it. What is the allure of all this? Has anyone else had the same experiences of what I’m assuming is fake profiles?
Tag: dating apps
Ghost of Nashville
The first guy I dated after my separation introduced me to the concept of ghosting someone. At the time it didn’t occur to me to ask him why someone would do that. I should have asked: “Why would someone be such a coward?” “Wouldn’t you want the other person to know how it went south?” “Why not just be honest?”
But I didn’t and three months later after we had a small disagreement he ghosted me and I then understood how devastating not knowing can be.
As I was driving through Georgia and Tennessee last night I couldn’t help but think about the latest ghost in my life.
Meet Nash
Nash and I met on POF about two months ago. He was planning a trip to see a friend in Charlotte and we chatted about things to do and places to see in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to try to meet up while he was in town. While visiting we talked but never got up because I was caught up with a bachelorette weekend.
The following weeks we texted, talked, and facetimed daily. We discussed our careers, our families, our children, our exes, and the cities we lived in and loved. After a couple weeks he asked what he needed to do to get me to visit him in Nashville. I told him he simply needed to sell the idea to me. He said that would be easy.
He told me all about the night life, the beautiful scenery, the history, and sent me a ton of pics.
This was my favorite.
So, after very little contemplating, I agreed. I mean, I need a mini vacation and why not visit a new city. I checked my calendar, threw out a couple sets of dates and we decided the third week of September worked best for both of us. I found a hotel and he started working on an itenirary. He was excited to finally meet me in person and show off his precious city. I was excited to get away for a few days and I knew he would be the best tour guide.
We talked about the trip almost everyday. He asked lots of questions, getting to know me in order to plan things he knew I would enjoy. And then about a week ago, nothing. We were discussing his daughters’ ball games and then he just stops texting. One minute we are talking about the importance of writing things in a planner and the next he isn’t answering my messages. I even reached out and asked if I could know what happened but that was also ignored.
I don’t know if I’m more disappointed, hurt, or angry. I don’t normally like to put a lot of effort or time into getting to know a guy without meeting him first for this very reason. I thought Nash was more mature but I guess I didn’t know him at all.
Dating Etiquette
Just because we live in a technological age, it doesn’t mean we are allowed to forget our manners. We may be interacting with a screen, but it’s not just an image, it’s a person.
Meet CableGuy. CableGuy reached out to me on POF (Plenty of Fish) a few days ago and this is how he did it:
Now, don’t get ahead of yourselves because CableGuy is not who I’m referring to in this post. I found his message to be amusing but there was one problem…
After a good laugh, I asked CableGuy if he would like a do over and he impressed me so we chatted. And during our conversations I learned that he was going on a first date tonight with a woman he had been chatting with for months but had yet to meet. She set up the place because she had to work late and he was being gentlemen offering to drive over 30 minutes so she wouldn’t have to travel too far after work.So, CableGuy is sitting at a trashy bar in my hometown, only a few miles from where I currently live. He is waiting on his date but he is texting me. I learn that he isn’t really a drinker and he thinks bars aren’t ideal for a first date. He’s nervous because he’s uncomfortable at the weird, small town bar she chose. And his date is late. Thirty minutes after she was supposed to meet him he texts me and says he’s leaving. I ask him to call me because we were both driving.
During our phone conversation he reveals (in a sexy, southern voice) that she walked into the bar with a friend. She had prior knowledge of where he was sitting because he texted and told her. Yet, she walks past him and parks herself at the other end of the bar, never making eye contact. In his nervous, uncomfortable state, he waits. He decides to send a text, which goes unanswered. He waits a little longer and then decides he had endured enough rejection for one night and gets up to leave. She never looks his way.
I listened as he described how that made him feel. I allowed him to get it all off his chest. I felt embarrassed for him and pissed at her at the same time.
Ladies, let me paint you a picture. CableGuy is 5’10”, athletic built, has short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a killer smile. I know this from his profile and the pictures he has posted. I am confident that when I meet him (which will be in a few days) he will not be any different from the above description.
So, my question is why did SideTrack Trash (my name for his date) decide she was too good to have drinks with CableGuy? Why was she late for a date she arranged? At what point did she realize she wasn’t going to go through with the date? Why did she bring a friend?
Don’t be like SideTrack Trash. Use the manners your parents or teachers instilled in you.
- Treat your date with respect. This should go without saying.
- Be on time. Arrive on time and if for any reason you will be late, inform your date and give an ETA.
- Give your date your undivided attention. Put your phone away, look him in the eyes, be present, and by all means DO NOT BRING YOUR BFF!
- Be considerate. Even if there is no chemistry, be considerate. Consider his time and effort and thank him for the evening. It’s ok to let him know that you don’t think there is a connection.
- Never stand up your date. If you need to cancel or reschedule contact him immediately. If you’ve had a change of heart or met someone else in the meantime, let him know. Guys don’t like being left out of the loop anymore than we do.
My lesson from his experience is as follows:
We all are on the same road. We’re looking for a companion, a friend, someone we can confide in. This journey can be exciting but it also can be scary and heartbreaking. Not every person we meet on this road is going to be our forever mate but we may make friends along the way. Be kind, be considerate, be respectful, have an open mind. You never know who you’ll come across next.
HARMONY & TINDER & MATCH, OH MY
Exploring online dating apps
A Whole New World of Dating
As a working, single, thirty-something mom how do you find time to date?
And when you have those precious hours, where do you go? The bar scene seems so depressing and the club scene is too loud.
For me, I would rather have a date lined up, allowing me to enjoy those precious hours of free time instead of stressing over where to go and what to do. Enter online dating!!
There are dozens of online dating apps, where do you begin? I say, pick one
(or two) and give it at least 2 weeks before throwing in the towel or trying another. Here are my tips on how to make the most out of online dating.
- Upload pictures. Make your main picture stand out. DO NOT POST A
GROUP PIC AS YOUR MAIN PHOTO. The guy isn’t playing “Where’s Waldo?” A headshot is completely acceptable as long as you also have
at least one full body shot. Let the guys know what you’re working with, trust me, they want to see it. Don’t be slutty, find attractive, well
put together photos that show off who you really are. You don’t show up to a first date in sweats and no makeup, leave those pictures out of
your dating profile. - Don’t skimp on the details. Fill out all the boxes! I despise a profile
that isn’t filled out. If it asks you what you’re looking for, answer honestly. Be as thorough as possible without writing a book. You want
to leave something to talk about but supply enough information to give
the guy something to ask you about. I’m very forward and it’s difficult
to reach out to a guy and send the first message if he doesn’t tell me anything about himself in his profile. - Log on regularly. A lot of these apps will list you according to the last
time you logged in. So, if you want to be seen, log in regularly. I also find it easy to get overwhelmed, especially as a new user. You will get bombarded the first week. Keep your messages clean, delete the guys you aren’t interested in and keep your conversations flowing with the
ones you want to meet. - Be honest with yourself. Do you know what you want? What you’re looking for? Guys are going to ask, so be prepared. If you’re looking for
a serious relationship, make it known. If you’re looking for hookups, put it out there. All these sites have a fair share of men looking for hookups, if that isn’t you, let them know. Most men respect that and will move on. If they don’t, you can always block or delete them. - Go out. Don’t be afraid to go out.. When I first started this journey I let my mother get in my head with all this “be careful, he might me a serial killer!” mess. But let’s be honest, how likely is that to happen. If you’re a responsible adult, you can safely meet a man in a public place without fear of him being anything more than what he appeared to be on his profile. I have a person (I actually have 2) and I always reach out to them with who I’m meeting and where. I’ll send them a picture of the guy and all the important information, just in case. But they’ve never had a need to use it. Be smart and you’ll be safe. Most importantly, have fun.
There isn’t one app that fits all but as long as you use these tips, be yourself,
and put yourself out there, you can have an enjoyable experience. Let me
know how it goes, share your tips with me, your experiences, and any advice in the comments below.
Tea with a Taurus 