Tag: first date

(Mr.) Electricity is out

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A few posts back I talked about a lineman I have been talking to. This week we had some pretty intense conversations. He revealed his trepidation about getting back out there after his last relationship. Apparently she was psycho and took him for the savings he had built up over the last five years since his divorce. Trust me, I get it. I, too have been taken for money by someone I thought loved me and it is difficult to trust after going through that.

But all I’m asking for is lunch or coffee and hell, we can even go dutch!

With my boys, I do not get a lot of free time and he understands that and he has even less free time, according to him. This is the first weekend in a month that I haven’t had my boys or been stuck inside because of the weather from a hurricane.

Regardless we spent most of the week texting throughout the day and talking about meeting up today (Saturday) since he is off. Monday, he even sent me a very happy text rejoicing in the fact that he had a week off of being on-call.

Then, yesterday he informs me that he was going to work an event that night and all day Saturday. He made it sound like he was forced to do this but I just can’t believe that. He said he was sorry but he had “certain responsibilities within his job that needed his attention.” I think this event was an out for him. He tells me that he could get lost in my eyes but blows me off for a two day event in his home town, only twenty minutes from where I live.

How long does it take to get lunch? or a coffee? This event is over at 6:00 pm tonight, I know because I planned on attending.

Well, I’m done. I don’t believe his story. I think if you are going to agree to plans you should be man enough to follow through. I’ve been laying around most of the morning checking out POF and Tinder. Not much is going on with Tinder but I’ve gotten a few messages on POF. And Red and his girl are on their way to rescue me and get me out of the house. Believe me, I can do that on my own but it’s nice to have people in your life who want to be there for you. I love those two and look forward to my afternoon with them, right after I take this car full of cardboard to the recycling center.

We are almost completely unpacked!!!

Margaritas and the Mundane

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Last week I mentioned the possibility of going to a show with another new match. Last Friday the new match phoned to tell me he would be working Saturday and wouldn’t be able to take me to the comedy show but invited me to dinner that night. I agreed and planned to meet him after dropping my boys off at their dads. 


It was poring rain when I finally made it back into town and this new match was waiting for me inside the restaurant. He didn’t see me walking up because he jumped up to open the door for an elderly woman with a walker and her family. I stood back and watched this sweet gesture. 

He was dressed in a pair of khakis and a button down with a pair of nice boots. He looked good, confident. His hair was longer than I expected but it was neatly combed back and he had the perfect amount of facial hair. 

We sat down and immediately the conversation flowed at a comfortable pace. After two margaritas we were still talking but he informed me he had to get home to his children. Surprisingly, I don’t remember having the knowledge that he had children, so we talked about them for a few more moments. 

At the end of the date he mentioned going out again Saturday night if he finished work early enough. I was up for that and suggested he text the next day to see his progress. He walked me to my car and leaned in for a hug. He didn’t try to kiss me. I would’ve kissed him if he tried, but he didn’t and I wasn’t going for it, so a hug was sufficient. 

Saturday brought Hurricane Matthew and lots of rain and my power was out for a few hours. I slept a lot and went out for a late lunch with Red and his girl. It was nice to be among adults. New Match texted a few times Saturday and again mentioned taking me out after work but in the end, he didn’t show and I haven’t heard from him either. 

The lack of communication is probably partly my fought. I’ve had another depressing week. And to top it off, it’s mid term week and I’m not close to being ready. Saturday was supposed to be devoted to school but with all the sleeping I did and not having power, I was far from productive. 

On a brighter note, this week has also given me the time to continue to text with Electric Guy. He’s off call next weekend and were planning on getting together. I like him. He’s sweet, kind, a hard worker, values his career, has goals, and so much more. I’m looking forward to finally seeing him in person. The more we talk, the more excited I get. I’ll keep you guys in the loop, I promise 

No Electricity Tonight

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It’s 9:00 pm and I’m in my PJs curled up in bed with a book. I’m not really reading it. I’m a little bummed, a little down. 

I knew this was a possibility. The latest guy I met on Tinder has a very busy work schedule, it’s actually one of the things I like about him. We have been talking/texting for a week or so and he expressed the desire (yesterday) to grab a coffee this evening after work. Last night he had to go back into work after being home for a couple hours for an emergency. And these types of things happen on a weekly basis. And with Hurricane Matthew coming he did inform me that he could be working late to prepare for that. 


But today we were texting back and forth most of the day and then around 2:30 he got silent. At 6 he let me know he was still working. I understood and asked him just to let me know when he got off and we would see where we were with getting together. 

He didn’t leave work until after 8 and I wasn’t going to push. I really wanted to see him, and I had a sitter lined up, but after working 14 hours I understand. 

So here I am laying in bed with a book I’m not really reading. Bummed and tired and stressed all over again. 

Good night bees, it’s possible I’ll be going to a show this weekend with a different new match. I’ll let you guys know if that happens or if I have yet another date fall through. 

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Ghost of Nashville

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The first guy I dated after my separation introduced me to the concept of ghosting someone. At the time it didn’t occur to me to ask him why someone would do that. I should have asked: “Why would someone be such a coward?” “Wouldn’t you want the other person to know how it went south?” “Why not just be honest?”

But I didn’t and three months later after we had a small disagreement he ghosted me and I then understood how devastating not knowing can be. 

As I was driving through Georgia and Tennessee last night I couldn’t help but think about the latest ghost in my life. 

Meet Nash


Nash and I met on POF about two months ago. He was planning a trip to see a friend in Charlotte and we chatted about things to do and places to see in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to try to meet up while he was in town. While visiting we talked but never got up because I was caught up with a bachelorette weekend. 

The following weeks we texted, talked, and facetimed daily. We discussed our careers, our families, our children, our exes, and the cities we lived in and loved. After a couple weeks he asked what he needed to do to get me to visit him in Nashville. I told him he simply needed to sell the idea to me. He said that would be easy. 


He told me all about the night life, the beautiful scenery, the history, and sent me a ton of pics. 

This was my favorite. 

So, after very little contemplating, I agreed. I mean, I need a mini vacation and why not visit a new city. I checked my calendar, threw out a couple sets of dates and we decided the third week of September worked best for both of us. I found a hotel and he started working on an itenirary. He was excited to finally meet me in person and show off his precious city. I was excited to get away for a few days and I knew he would be the best tour guide. 

We talked about the trip almost everyday. He asked lots of questions, getting to know me in order to plan things he knew I would enjoy. And then about a week ago, nothing. We were discussing his daughters’ ball games and then he just stops texting. One minute we are talking about the importance of writing things in a planner and the next he isn’t answering my messages. I even reached out and asked if I could know what happened but that was also ignored. 

I don’t know if I’m more disappointed, hurt, or angry. I don’t normally like to put a lot of effort or time into getting to know a guy without meeting him first for this very reason. I thought Nash was more mature but I guess I didn’t know him at all. 

Queen Bee on Bumble

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I’ve been using Bumble for a couple months. A friend turned me onto it with the allure that I would have control over who contacts me. 

Unlike some women, I don’t mind taking control. I don’t mind reaching out first. 

I’ve been on and off Tinder for about two years now and it always disappoints me. I revealed to my little brother, Red’s girlfriend (they met on Tinder) the other week that I had over a hundred matches and she couldn’t believe the sheer number. But here’s the problem, out of those 100+ matches maybe a dozen actually started a conversation with me. Do you know how depressing it is to have a hundred men in the palm of your hand and none can hold a conversation?!

“Bumble is redefining dating rules.” – Cosmopolitan 

A breakdown of Bumble (heterosexual):

  • You swipe potential matches. 
  • Once you match, the female has 24 hours to send a message. 
  • After initial message is sent, the male has 24 hours to respond. 
  • If the messages are not sent in the time frame the match disappears. 

I enjoy this type of online matching. It keeps my “que of matches” clean and only the men who are truly interested in chatting stick around. 

This week they have added some features to Bumble. 

  • You can buyback expired connections. 
  • You can purchase unlimited 24 hour extensions. 
  • You can sort through matches who have already swiped right on you. 

These just sound like ways to get you to spend money on the app but it’s nice to have the opportunity to get back a match that you let expire. 

If you’re not afraid to make the first move, give Bumble a try. 


These are my only my opinions, I am not associated with this app in any way. 

HARMONY & TINDER & MATCH, OH MY

Tea with a Taurus's avatar

Exploring online dating apps

 

A Whole New World of Dating

As a working, single, thirty-something mom how do you find time to date?

And when you have those precious hours, where do you go? The bar scene seems so depressing and the club scene is too loud.

For me, I would rather have a date lined up, allowing me to enjoy those precious hours of free time instead of stressing over where to go and what to do. Enter online dating!!

There are dozens of online dating apps, where do you begin? I say, pick one
(or two) and give it at least 2 weeks before throwing in the towel or trying another. Here are my tips on how to make the most out of online dating.

  • Upload pictures. Make your main picture stand out. DO NOT POST A
    GROUP PIC AS YOUR MAIN PHOTO. The guy isn’t playing β€œWhere’s  Waldo?” A headshot is completely acceptable as long as you also have
    at least one full body shot. Let the guys know what you’re working οƒ˜with, trust me, they want to see it. Don’t be slutty, find attractive, well
    put together photos that show off who you really are. You don’t show  up to a first date in sweats and no makeup, leave those pictures out of
    your dating profile.
  • Don’t skimp on the details. Fill out all the boxes! I despise a profile
    that isn’t filled out. If it asks you what you’re looking for, answer honestly. Be as thorough as possible without writing a book. You want
    to leave something to talk about but supply enough information to give
    the guy something to ask you about. I’m very forward and it’s difficult
    to reach out to a guy and send the first message if he doesn’t tell me  anything about himself in his profile.
  • Log on regularly. A lot of these apps will list you according to the last
    time you logged in. So, if you want to be seen, log in regularly. I also find it easy to get overwhelmed, especially as a new user. You will get bombarded the first week. Keep your messages clean, delete the guys you aren’t interested in and keep your conversations flowing with the
    ones you want to meet.
  • Be honest with yourself. Do you know what you want? What you’re looking for? Guys are going to ask, so be prepared. If you’re looking for
    a serious relationship, make it known. If you’re looking for hookups, put it out there. All these sites have a fair share of men looking for hookups, if that isn’t you, let them know. Most men respect that and will move on. If they don’t, you can always block or delete them.
  • Go out. Don’t be afraid to go out.. When I first started this journey I let my mother get in my head with all this β€œbe careful, he might me a serial killer!” mess. But let’s be honest, how likely is that to happen. If you’re a responsible adult, you can safely meet a man in a public place without fear of him being anything more than what he appeared to be on his profile. I have a person (I actually have 2) and I always reach out to them with who I’m meeting and where. I’ll send them a picture of the guy and all the important information, just in case. But they’ve never had a need to use it. Be smart and you’ll be safe. Most importantly, have fun.

There isn’t one app that fits all but as long as you use these tips, be yourself,
and put yourself out there, you can have an enjoyable experience. Let me
know how it goes, share your tips with me, your experiences, and any advice in the comments below.

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