As we close the chapter on November, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the wins, lessons learned, frustrations faced, and the books that added a little extra depth to my month. Sometimes, life feels like a mix of the inspiring, the challenging, … Continue reading November Reflections: Wins, Lessons, and a Little Chaos
A little over a month ago I posted a similar photo of my oldest on my personal Instagram page.
I commented on what a great summer we were having and mentioned our Tuesday lunches. I take him to therapy on Tuesdays and over the summer we would get lunch together and have a lazy afternoon reading or talking while his brother was at camp.
But school started a month ago and those Tuesdays are a little rushed and hectic.
Potter isn’t much into socializing, showing affection, or even comfortable being in a crowd. Most evenings he can be found sitting on his bed reading a book or playing on his tablet. While the younger two are outside riding bikes or running around, Potter is comfortable sitting on the porch scetching in a notebook or reading. I don’t force him to play outside because I’m happy he’s doing what he loves.
But it does make it a little more difficult to bond with him when he’s constantly looking down at his book or tablet.
So, since school started I have had to try a little harder to get just five minutes of time to spend with him alone. He’s a fifth grader this year and so far this year has been difficult for him but his teachers know we are working with a therapist and are trying to be patient (although I understand that can be difficult).
With work, our side business, three kids, online classes starting for me, and trying to condition my relationship with The Beard it has been an interesting couple months.
But just call me the juggler, I’ve got this. 🙂
I often hear or read that we are raising a “softer generation” and this comment always makes me smile because I don’t know about you, but I’m OK with that. What do you guys think about this?
When I was five, a kindergartner, I would ride the school bus home from school. The bus didn’t drop me off at my house, instead I would walk three houses up to my house, unlock the door and lock it behind me. I would stay in my home for two to three hours by myself until my parents got home from work. At 10, I did the same thing but with a five year old brother (Red) in tow. When I got my license at 16, I would drive from the high school to the middle school to pick up Red and then drive home. We were not allowed to answer the phone if it rang or the door if someone came to it, which they rarely did. If our friends were outside playing, we could not play with them until 5:30 or 6:00 when our parents got home. There were no after school activities because we were a package deal and we had no one to help us out.
Now that I’m a mother, I understand the struggles with being lower middle class and having children. I understand the struggles but do I want my kids to go through what we through, heck no!
I work in retail and recently dropped to part time for this very reason. My kids are going to be kids. I don’t expect them to take care of themselves, there is no reason for them to be alone and have to take care of each other. They should be allowed to play with their friends after school. They should be able to come to me if they need me. And if this means my kids are softer, fine, I’m OK with that.
This week, I was reminded of this. AJ (remember, he’s 7) went to summer camp with $3 for snacks for three days. Usually they put the money into an account but this was the last week and they did not want any money left in the accounts. I was unaware of this. My baby left his $2, after the first day, in his cubby. This is his cubby, he’s used it all summer. He has left water bottles, towels, glasses, sunscreen, you name it in this cubby. So, it didn’t occur to him his money would be any different. When he got home that evening and we were talking about their day it came to light that Potter still had his snack money. And when I dug deeper into the conversation I found out about the $2 left in AJ’s cubby. The first thing in my head is “His money is gone, there’s no way it’ll still be there.” But I kept this to myself and talked about their day. The next morning I sent AJ into camp with the instructions to see if his money was still in his cubby. Unfortunately it was not.
The look on his face made my stomach turn. He couldn’t understand where it went. Some things you must know about AJ:
I gave him a dollar, a kiss, and told him we would talk after I got off work.
I thought about it all day. My stomach was in knots. His heart was broken. He got a glimpse at what this world is like. Someone stole from my baby, at a christian based camp!
So, we talked about it. I told him that kids don’t want to do bad things, but sometimes they do. We compared it to times when we are tempted and have a choice to make. I explained that sometimes people make a decision that isn’t always the best one. We talked about how just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s OK to do it to other people. I pointed out that we all want to be good people, but good means different things to different people. We talked and we hugged. He’s very tender-hearted, he may have cried a little. He’s so easy to talk to.
I don’t want my kids to face the world without knowing what to expect but I also want to be the one to expose them to the world. As a parent, it is my job to prepare them and to show them how amazing this world can be. I think the world needs to soften up a little and love more but that’s for another post.
Today is The Beard’s birthday
🎂 🎉🎈🎉
To say he isn’t big on birthdays is an understatement.
He doesn’t like to celebrate, he doesn’t eat cake, he doesn’t want presents…
Who is this man? And why does he not want presents?
I’ve accepted this
flawtrait, but that doesn’t stop me from going a little overboard.Now, it needs to be noted that for my birthday he took me and the boys to the beach for the weekend and we enjoyed a bluegrass festival, food truck food, a boat ride to an island, swimming in the ocean, grilling out, and great seafood.
So, when my mom messaged me last week wanting to have a dinner for her husband’s birthday (August 1) on The Beard’s actual birthday (today), I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that. But ultimately, it turned into a double birthday celebration and it was a way to have a party that didn’t put The Beard in the spotlight (too much). And he was OK with it – A Bonus!
It turned out to be a great day, despite the fact that I’m suffering from a sprained neck (no idea how it happened but it freakin sucks). My aunt and uncle came out and my brother (Red), his girlfriend, and her son were there too. And Red’s lady made this amazingly beautiful and equally delicious cake for our step-dad.
Isn’t she talented?!This was probably the most moist and tastiest cake I’ve ever had.
The Beard has taken care of me all day but he did enjoy his gifts.
Our kids pitched in and picked out a bag full of snacks and candy, which he would much rather have than a stinking cake (his words not mine).And I found him a hammock we can take camping and paddles for his kayak.
I’m looking forward this weekend, we’re going camping without the kids and taking the kayaks for a weekend in the water.
But for now, I’m off to rest this neck of mine. Goodnight friends.
I wrote back in November that I deleted all dating apps and here is why:
Meet The Beard. We met in early November and after four dates he had completely swept me off my feet. He’s funny, hardworking, honest, and incredibly gorgeous. We started living together a few months ago and this blog will explore bringing our families together and the life lessons we face along the way.
The rest of our tribe:
My oldest, Potter or P for short, is strategic, passionate, and fun. He loves to read, anything mysterious, non-fiction, or fantasy; he loves to play chess, put together puzzles, and play cards; he also enjoys nerf guns and legos. We have been struggling with behavior issues and anxiety with him for a few years. Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, and ADHD have also been brought up and are being explored. It’s a huge learning process for all of us. I kick myself regularly thinking these things should have been discussed earlier in his life but that bridge has been crossed and all we can do now is figure out which path works best for us.
My youngest, AJ, is spirited, adventurous, mischievous, and extremely loving. He has a huge heart and is tender hearted. He recently started to wear glasses and lost them the second day he wore them to school. But we have since found them and we are figuring out how to keep up with them and getting used to wearing them. He is the typical youngest child (he has step siblings from his father and they are all older). He doesn’t know how to play alone and is very close to everyone.
Lastly, we have The Beard’s daughter, Cat. Her mother doesn’t want her photo online so her photos will always be distorted. She is a year younger than P and she has adjusted well to my boys. She is patient, fun, and a typical girl. She loves barbies, baby dolls, unicorns, anything emoji, and watching YouTube videos. She’s surprisingly quiet, unless all three of them are together.
We are enjoying our summer. Stay tuned for more about our lives and adventures.
Tea with a Taurus 