Tag: single mom

Juggling 

· Leave a comment ·

A little over a month ago I posted a similar photo of my oldest on my personal Instagram page. 


I commented on what a great summer we were having and mentioned our Tuesday lunches. I take him to therapy on Tuesdays and over the summer we would get lunch together and have a lazy afternoon reading or talking while his brother was at camp. 

But school started a month ago and those Tuesdays are a little rushed and hectic. 

Potter isn’t much into socializing, showing affection, or even comfortable being in a crowd. Most evenings he can be found sitting on his bed reading a book or playing on his tablet. While the younger two are outside riding bikes or running around, Potter is comfortable sitting on the porch scetching in a notebook or reading. I don’t force him to play outside because I’m happy he’s doing what he loves. 

But it does make it a little more difficult to bond with him when he’s constantly looking down at his book or tablet. 

So, since school started I have had to try a little harder to get just five minutes of time to spend with him alone. He’s a fifth grader this year and so far this year has been difficult for him but his teachers know we are working with a therapist and are trying to be patient (although I understand that can be difficult). 

With work, our side business, three kids, online classes starting for me, and trying to condition my relationship with The Beard it has been an interesting couple months. 

But just call me the juggler, I’ve got this. 🙂

Childhood

· Leave a comment ·

I often hear or read that we are raising a “softer generation” and this comment always makes me smile because I don’t know about you, but I’m OK with that. What do you guys think about this?

When I was five, a kindergartner, I would ride the school bus home from school. The bus didn’t drop me off at my house, instead I would walk three houses up to my house, unlock the door and lock it behind me. I would stay in my home for two to three hours by myself until my parents got home from work. At 10, I did the same thing but with a five year old brother (Red) in tow. When I got my license at 16, I would drive from the high school to the middle school to pick up Red and then drive home. We were not allowed to answer the phone if it rang or the door if someone came to it, which they rarely did. If our friends were outside playing, we could not play with them until 5:30 or 6:00 when our parents got home. There were no after school activities because we were a package deal and we had no one to help us out.

Now that I’m a mother, I understand the struggles with being lower middle class and having children. I understand the struggles but do I want my kids to go through what we through, heck no!

I work in retail and recently dropped to part time for this very reason. My kids are going to be kids. I don’t expect them to take care of themselves, there is no reason for them to be alone and have to take care of each other. They should be allowed to play with their friends after school. They should be able to come to me if they need me. And if this means my kids are softer, fine, I’m OK with that.

This week, I was reminded of this. AJ (remember, he’s 7) went to summer camp with $3 for snacks for three days. Usually they put the money into an account but this was the last week and they did not want any money left in the accounts. I was unaware of this. My baby left his $2, after the first day, in his cubby. This is his cubby, he’s used it all summer. He has left water bottles, towels, glasses, sunscreen, you name it in this cubby. So, it didn’t occur to him his money would be any different. When he got home that evening and we were talking about their day it came to light that Potter still had his snack money. And when I dug deeper into the conversation I found out about the $2 left in AJ’s cubby. The first thing in my head is “His money is gone, there’s no way it’ll still be there.” But I kept this to myself and talked about their day. The next morning I sent AJ into camp with the instructions to see if his money was still in his cubby. Unfortunately it was not.

The look on his face made my stomach turn. He couldn’t understand where it went. Some things you must know about AJ:

  • He is just like me, he wears his heart on his sleeve.
  • He is honest, he has a hard time telling a lie even when it’s a joke. He has an easy to spot tale.
  • He expects the same from other people. He expects to be treated the way he treats others. (Imagine that!!)
  • He is loving, he loves everyone no matter their background, skin color, age, etc.

I gave him a dollar, a kiss, and told him we would talk after I got off work.

I thought about it all day. My stomach was in knots. His heart was broken. He got a glimpse at what this world is like. Someone stole from my baby, at a christian based camp!

So, we talked about it. I told him that kids don’t want to do bad things, but sometimes they do. We compared it to times when we are tempted and have a choice to make. I explained that sometimes people make a decision that isn’t always the best one. We talked about how just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s OK to do it to other people. I pointed out that we all want to be good people, but good means different things to different people. We talked and we hugged. He’s very tender-hearted, he may have cried a little. He’s so easy to talk to.

I don’t want my kids to face the world without knowing what to expect but I also want to be the one to expose them to the world. As a parent, it is my job to prepare them and to show them how amazing this world can be. I think the world needs to soften up a little and love more but that’s for another post.

It’s Fall Y’all 

· Leave a comment ·

Yes, I am a southern girl. I say y’all daily! 

This weekend was full of family fun. I loved every moment of it but I’m exhausted. 

The boys and I started with a quick dinner at Chili’s on Friday. My younger son was pissed that it was not Pizza Hut but soon realized Chili’s pizza was pretty damn good too. 

He’s happily waiting for his pizza while playing tic, tac, toe. 

Saturday we enjoyed a lazy morning with a homemade southern breakfast and cartoon. Then we joined Red and his girlfriend and her family for a BBQ. It was a beautiful fall day. We ate, talked, and ate some more. We could’ve asked for a better evening. 

I took the boys to the farmers market Sunday morning and they were happy with our loot of broccoli, sweet potatoes, cucumbers, apples, squash, zucchini, and honey. 

I treated them to Pizza Hut after the market and before hitting the pumpkin patch. We finished our outing with ice cream. Wow, what a day! 


I love these weekends with my babies and this fall weather makes it that much more enjoyable. 

Have a fantastic week bees! 

Ghost of Nashville

· Leave a comment ·

The first guy I dated after my separation introduced me to the concept of ghosting someone. At the time it didn’t occur to me to ask him why someone would do that. I should have asked: “Why would someone be such a coward?” “Wouldn’t you want the other person to know how it went south?” “Why not just be honest?”

But I didn’t and three months later after we had a small disagreement he ghosted me and I then understood how devastating not knowing can be. 

As I was driving through Georgia and Tennessee last night I couldn’t help but think about the latest ghost in my life. 

Meet Nash


Nash and I met on POF about two months ago. He was planning a trip to see a friend in Charlotte and we chatted about things to do and places to see in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to try to meet up while he was in town. While visiting we talked but never got up because I was caught up with a bachelorette weekend. 

The following weeks we texted, talked, and facetimed daily. We discussed our careers, our families, our children, our exes, and the cities we lived in and loved. After a couple weeks he asked what he needed to do to get me to visit him in Nashville. I told him he simply needed to sell the idea to me. He said that would be easy. 


He told me all about the night life, the beautiful scenery, the history, and sent me a ton of pics. 

This was my favorite. 

So, after very little contemplating, I agreed. I mean, I need a mini vacation and why not visit a new city. I checked my calendar, threw out a couple sets of dates and we decided the third week of September worked best for both of us. I found a hotel and he started working on an itenirary. He was excited to finally meet me in person and show off his precious city. I was excited to get away for a few days and I knew he would be the best tour guide. 

We talked about the trip almost everyday. He asked lots of questions, getting to know me in order to plan things he knew I would enjoy. And then about a week ago, nothing. We were discussing his daughters’ ball games and then he just stops texting. One minute we are talking about the importance of writing things in a planner and the next he isn’t answering my messages. I even reached out and asked if I could know what happened but that was also ignored. 

I don’t know if I’m more disappointed, hurt, or angry. I don’t normally like to put a lot of effort or time into getting to know a guy without meeting him first for this very reason. I thought Nash was more mature but I guess I didn’t know him at all. 

HARMONY & TINDER & MATCH, OH MY

Tea with a Taurus's avatar

Exploring online dating apps

 

A Whole New World of Dating

As a working, single, thirty-something mom how do you find time to date?

And when you have those precious hours, where do you go? The bar scene seems so depressing and the club scene is too loud.

For me, I would rather have a date lined up, allowing me to enjoy those precious hours of free time instead of stressing over where to go and what to do. Enter online dating!!

There are dozens of online dating apps, where do you begin? I say, pick one
(or two) and give it at least 2 weeks before throwing in the towel or trying another. Here are my tips on how to make the most out of online dating.

  • Upload pictures. Make your main picture stand out. DO NOT POST A
    GROUP PIC AS YOUR MAIN PHOTO. The guy isn’t playing “Where’s  Waldo?” A headshot is completely acceptable as long as you also have
    at least one full body shot. Let the guys know what you’re working with, trust me, they want to see it. Don’t be slutty, find attractive, well
    put together photos that show off who you really are. You don’t show  up to a first date in sweats and no makeup, leave those pictures out of
    your dating profile.
  • Don’t skimp on the details. Fill out all the boxes! I despise a profile
    that isn’t filled out. If it asks you what you’re looking for, answer honestly. Be as thorough as possible without writing a book. You want
    to leave something to talk about but supply enough information to give
    the guy something to ask you about. I’m very forward and it’s difficult
    to reach out to a guy and send the first message if he doesn’t tell me  anything about himself in his profile.
  • Log on regularly. A lot of these apps will list you according to the last
    time you logged in. So, if you want to be seen, log in regularly. I also find it easy to get overwhelmed, especially as a new user. You will get bombarded the first week. Keep your messages clean, delete the guys you aren’t interested in and keep your conversations flowing with the
    ones you want to meet.
  • Be honest with yourself. Do you know what you want? What you’re looking for? Guys are going to ask, so be prepared. If you’re looking for
    a serious relationship, make it known. If you’re looking for hookups, put it out there. All these sites have a fair share of men looking for hookups, if that isn’t you, let them know. Most men respect that and will move on. If they don’t, you can always block or delete them.
  • Go out. Don’t be afraid to go out.. When I first started this journey I let my mother get in my head with all this “be careful, he might me a serial killer!” mess. But let’s be honest, how likely is that to happen. If you’re a responsible adult, you can safely meet a man in a public place without fear of him being anything more than what he appeared to be on his profile. I have a person (I actually have 2) and I always reach out to them with who I’m meeting and where. I’ll send them a picture of the guy and all the important information, just in case. But they’ve never had a need to use it. Be smart and you’ll be safe. Most importantly, have fun.

There isn’t one app that fits all but as long as you use these tips, be yourself,
and put yourself out there, you can have an enjoyable experience. Let me
know how it goes, share your tips with me, your experiences, and any advice in the comments below.

Status · · 1 Comment ·